woke up feeling great. refreshed and uncluttered.
beautiful.
now for homework and cleaning. my room looks like a disaster!

Are you waiting for a special occasion

To give me your heart

Cause I need a little confirmation

To make a real start

Don't wait till it's too late

Are you ready to show me?

Are you ready to love me?

You see in a wayI have been drifting down a river

To nowhere

And you're giving me nothing

And if you're ready to be my everything

If you're ready to see it through this time

And if you're ready for love then

This I will bring

But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time

Fefe Dobson - "Everything"

I love that song. Very approppiate.

Fresh from Seattle/Cali trip.

Life is good. I am very blessed.

AWELTTAES

In Seattle for a few days. Much needed get away. There is too much to think about and deal with in Mobile. I have some real thinking to do after last night. It was interesting.

But I ain't thinking today.....

New motto

New motto: IDGAF.

Sad but true.

Not in a good place right now.

I am not a guy.

I am a girl.
Cannot try to be a better guy then the guys.
They will win because they are guys.
You are a girl, does not make you lesser.
But a guy, you can't be!
Be a girl. There's everything right about that.

what happens when i get bored/frustrated.......

I cut my hair to cut match my mood....short. Short temper. Short patience. I have no time for the bullshit.

Ironically, I now spend more time on my hair.....bullshit!!!!

Yeah, I know you can't see that!!!! Sorry....too lazy to get up to find my camera cord....

the story of the girl who makes decisions

Tentively, anyways.

School next week...excited.

ok, its been a while....

So long since I've blogged. Let's cover all the bases here:

Money: Still ain't got it!!! There is a little light at the end of the rainbow, as I am paying and paying and struggling and soon I will be debt free...except the student loans of course. I've brought 2 pairs of shoes since my birthday (2!!!! Can you believe it?). I have NOT been shopping. If I keep it up, I'll do good! Still, I have had a few unexpected things pop up like a broken computer that needs to be replaced!!! Ugh!!!

Boys: Yeah, they're still that.... Although things have been good. Can't complain.

Work: Same. Although I do feel like I'm getting to do more exciting things and that I'm being taken seriously as a person who is really here to make a difference. I also feel that I am taking it more seriously and thinking outside of the box and using this job to get experience where I need it.
Also, I have been active doing some outside stuff. Just helped a friend with a charity auction (however minimal my help was) and now we are working on a booksigning. Fun. I also met this woman who is starting a non-profit and be get to do some grantwriting and event planning work with her. And I go to PRCA meetings as often as possible. I am determined to make my dreams come true which is why.....

I've applied to graduate school. We'll see how that goes.

Friends: I have the best friends. I am working hard to maintain relationships because I haven't in the past.

Its Hot

It feels so hot!!! Welcome to Mobile in June I guess. Can't wait 'til August.

The only thing worse than the heat is having big boobs in the heat! Miserable. I can't think of one good thing about having big boobs (except attention, of course).

finally found something for white people.....

i hate when people say something is for white/black/asian/hispanic, etc. people. i feel that's the most ignorant thing in the world.

but an outdoor concert in a thunderstorm is for white people.

but i enjoyed it very much!

shh!

it used to be that i could not sit still. now i find myself doing so more often not for long periods of time, mind you. but every little bit counts. im starting to appreciate quiet...

the story of the girl who tried to keep alcohol in her budget

i'm broke....ain't got no money.

see what i did there? that's a double negative so the rules of the english language indicates that there should be money.

if only it were that easy.

i guess this weekend equals a bottle of wine by the pool (if its warm enough).

Washington D.C. next week!!!

ahhh!!!

So quiet!!! And peaceful...why not everyday???

Baggin', Saggin'

Bayou La Batre is banning sagging pants. If you are caught sagging your pants you are subject to a $100 fine and 8 hours community service.

But we can still walk around in Confederate shirts? No fines for that one.

Not that I'm a fan of sagging pants of course.

Birthday, birthday!!!

It's my birthday!!! I had a great weekend: get together of great (and often M.I.A.) friends at my apartment and a casino night. Fun, fun!!! Today, I wanted to do a spa day but you know how I don't do anything right. So i may just have to settle for mani and pedi!!! Now I'm trying to decide what I need more..... a beach day or another casino day on Jada's (or the Beau Rivage's) dime.

GRE

today......

DIddy is an asshole

So no dark-skinned ladies in Diddy's Ciroc ads? Brown-skinned either!!!

From: info@imperativemgt.comSubject: Promo girls needed!!!To:Date: Tuesday,
March 24, 2009, 9:49 PM

Ciroc Promotion

Ciroc promo is this Friday, March 27, 2009Time: 3:00pm - 7:00pm and 12:00am
- 3:00am

Requirements:
Race: White, hispanic or light skinned african
american
Height: At least 5′6 or tallerSize 7 or smaller.

This is a cash @ wrap job and the booking will be thru our partner. Please
submit asap. Talent will only be contacted if the client is interested in
booking you!!!
Compensation: $35.00 per hour

Imperative Talent Management
3500 Lenox Road, Suite 1500
Atlanta, GA 30326
info@imperativemgt.com
www.imperativemgt.com
404-419-2565 Office
404-419-2564 Office

Diddy did release a statement saying that he dates all shade of women as long as there's no cameras around to prove that he was around such dark people.

Does anyone think Diddy is cool anymore?

Love and Sex and Magic

Is it sick that I love this song and video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEyvSaLatL4

How does she move I like that????

I wish I could dance....

Getting out!!!

I won a scholarship to go to a training in Washington, DC. Mid-April. So excited!!!

Keep thinking I'm Pussy

Seriously, this dude is gonna push me over the edge!!! Get it together, sir. You're difficult to deal with and I shouldn't have to "deal" with you because we are both grown. You're not my man, my boss, my master, my manager, my therapist, my accountant....none of it.

Whew!!! Had to get that off my chest!!!

On getting older....

I turn 2... - i mean another year older - in a few weeks. I can't believe I almost revealed my age....

I want to make a big deal out of it.... I mean how often do I get to celebrate me? But of course, when you over plan, things don't go right. And I don't want it to be too expensive in these hard economic times.

Hmm...we'll see.

unhappy....

very.

time for a change.

the story of the girl who tried to keep alcohol in her diet.....

i hate health fairs. they always force you to get screened for things. i've never had a bad screening....until this weekend.

yeah....

why does everything i love wanna kill me??? i gave up sweets for lent...but they will kill me (high blood sugar). this is the first time ever!!! granted its probably the excessive alcohol and junk i ate since mardi gras to keep me from desserts for lent.

oh and myeggs are killing me!!! high cholestrol.... they said nothing to be too worried about but that i need to watch out.

so i'm cutting all that high sugar, high cholestrol shit out. like i told jada and tyrone "i don't want to be happy....i wanna me alive!"

i love veggies and stuff so it won't be a problem eating more of those. just an increase.

but i'm not giving up the drink.... its how i have my fun. is that sad???

well, off to the gym!!!

I got an....interesting text the other day. Some guy wanting to know how I felt after our night together. So I respond "Who are you?" and he goes "Oh, I forgot I slipped that pill in your drink so you probably don't remember what happened."

Uh, ok.

Turns out he had texted the wrong girl. But know you've told me two things about yourself:
1. You have to drug girls to get some.
2. You are gross enough to contact the girl to taunt her about that night.

NOT HOT!

A friend and I talk about catches. Men are just like any other item. If you want something good, you gotta look for quality - and quality is hard to find. We say you can't buy Gucci in Simply Fashions - you have to go upscale.

Obviously, this guy is from the 99 cent bin at Dollar General.

I have a few rules. Some say I'm stuck up but whatever. I can do bad by myself.

1. You have to have a car. Sorry, I'm not picking you up. I am not your ride. And you are not taking my car. It's different if we're talking on a solid basis and I pick you up sometimes. But at the age that I am and in the place that I live in you have to have a car to get around! If you don't have to means to get a decent car, you are probably not going to be able to keep up.

2. You have to be doing something and have the desire to want more. I don't care if you don't have that dream job because I don't. But if you are a janitor, be the best janitor....but don't aspire to be in the same spot all your life.

3. I am not an ATM. Ask for money to soon and I'm out.

4. Know how to act and dress in public. If I can't take you anywhere, I won't! I'm the next Michelle Obama (you didn't know?)

5. If you are too closed-minded, I can't handle it. Open up your world.

That shouldn't be too hard....sigh.....

5. Y

LOL

Loves it. I hate Diddy.

the desire to do better....

I just feel that I could be doing so much better with my life. I've never been one to make plans because I'm afraid that my feelings will get hurt when I don't follow through. And I don't follow through very often.

But here I am, sitting in the junky room, playing on facebook and writing this blog where there are other things I should be doing. Like cleaning my room or trying to figure out my career or going back to school, working out. All of these things right now would make me a better person.

So 2009 is my year - or at least that's what I keep saying. I have to do something new. Life is unexciting. Not boring - I have too much fun. But I don't feel like there's anything in my life that is helping my brain grow. So, my goals for 2009 (I'll keep it simple so that a year from now I won't be looking at this thing thinking "I had plans. I didn't do any of them.)

1. Be more responsible. Clean room, well-managed money, nice, professional wardrobe, sensible thinking and planning. Those types of things make a well-rounded person. And I have none of those things. Since college I have mismanaging EVERYTHING. But you will only get out of life the same amount you put in and I want alot. So I must learn the difference between want and need and take care of what I have (Jada, your want/need signs were a success!!!).

2. Take care of my body. My body feels great when I exercise and eat right. My body feels bad when I'm lazy and eat a bunch of junk. I realize now how bad I feel with all the sugar and heavy food in my body and I don't even enjoy the sweets as much as a really good salad or sandwich (except ice cream and cheesecake...lol). I'm gonna have this body for a long time so I should treat it right.

3. Advance my career. It's time to go back to school. Plan for the fall (???)

See, three simple things. But the require me to get off my ass and get motivated....the worlds hardest thing....

..........

I drink too much. Fight with people I shouldn't even talk to. Feel shitty today. And I need to clean or do something productive today.

I should read something. I feel like my IQ is lower by the second.

I'm ready to start dressing like my heart....

I am nutting up (as my roommate would say)!!!

grr...so much time, so little to do....yet so much I could be doing....

and I'm thinking about shopping of course.....no one likes my jacket that I got from dillard's. my roommates said it was ugly. But I gotta wear it and I like it. glad no one in the office said anything. But I think they know better.

I need some skinny pants to go with this bright purple, pink and black top I brought this weekend. And some black tights for a babydoll-esque dress I brought this weekend. And I have to remember to paint- oops I mean polish (my roommate says you don't paint your nails) my toes so I can wear my new mustard Nine West shoes with the ethnic print skirt I brought yesterday. And I found 2 pairs of shoes in the Goodwill. Life is good.

But yes, I want to dress like my heart. Not what people believe I should wear but what I like. Things that would make me stand out from the crowd.

5 items in my closet that represent my heart.
1. Diamond-encrusted Hello Kitty necklace. Ok so it's glass, not diamond. But it's meant to represent diamonds and we all send our representatives out everyday. I lieterally want to put this on everyday. Ok, not literally.

2. Black and white checkered dress with huge pockets. The famous bucket dress. Those who know about this one, know.

3. Peep toe shoes. I have at least 2 dozen pair....and I am probably underestimating.

4. Green clutch. You have to see it to understand. Beautiful.

5. Skinny jeans from Old Navy. Alot of people can't wear Old Navy jean. But I can. I want to wear them everyday!

This is just pure boredom here.....

So many productive things I could be doing but this is what I am doing!